Category: Life

Hello, everyone! A few weeks ago I was browsing my Instagram and an add for CycleBar came up. For those who may not be aware, CycleBar is a spin class; it’s 45 minutes of high intensity cycling that you could burn around 500 calories doing.

So, I click the link and browse classes near me. The ONLY reason I took the 5:30am class for the following morning was because the class was playing T Swift music. I bought the $10 newbie pass, selected my bike spot, and tried to convince myself 5:30am was a great time to workout.

Next morning, it wasn’t too bad being up so early. There wasn’t anyone on the roads, so it felt like the world and I were sharing our own little private moment. I walked in about 15 minutes early and the front desk attendant showed me how to check in.

When choosing your class online, you choose if you need the special bike shoes that clip in, I, of course, did. So, the shoes were in a little cubby with my bike number waiting for me. I got a free water bottle and on one of the lockers it said, “Welcome to CycleBar, Kaylee!” How cute!

I changed into the special shoes, locked everything into the locker, and walked into a room with rows of bikes. The lady showing me around adjusted my bike for me and clipped me in. A few minutes later the teacher came over and talked to me about how this was my workout and I could go at my own pace.

I started pedaling because others in the class were doing this to warm up. I was at 36 rpm (speed). Perfect, this seems great, this will be fun. If only I had known… The warm up once class started was 100 rpm. ONE HUNDRED. Oh, lord take the wheel. My legs were going as fast as they could and I was trying so hard to just focus on the Taylor Swift music playing around me.

For the first 10ish minutes I REALLY tried to keep up. I would keep up in speed and resistance, but I knew if I kept this up I would not be able to finish the class. So I slowed it down a little, I tried to keep up with the speed and not resistance, as much.

Every time I thought about stopping it was as if the teacher knew and she would preach some inspirational words. One of my favorites was when she said that the only person I had to impress here was myself. I kept pedaling. I was so into my groove that I had no clue what happened when people started clapping, turns out class was over.

I unclipped my shoes, walked like a baby deer to my stuff, and chugged the rest of my water bottle. I was covered in sweat, but it was 6:15am and I was already wide awake and done with my workout. I walked to my car so impressed with myself, I really pushed myself and had a bit of fun. Afterwards, you get an email with your stats of your rank in the class, calories burned, etc.

Overall, I don’t think cycling classes are for me, but it was a good experience. I felt very supported and welcomed. My teacher made me feel so proud of myself because she told me her first cycle class she pretended like she was out of water after 20 minutes and left. But, I survived my first cycle class at CycleBar! Should I try more workout classes and share the results on here?

Happy 2019! One of my New Year’s resolutions is to post once a week on this blog. Last  year was really rough and I missed out on all of the fun I had while writing these posts. So, expect at least one post a week on here and also on my Youtube channel!

Now, on to the point of this post. Last year I was a Junior in college. I had spent my first two years at a community college near my home, so I was able to live with my mom. During those two years, I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I was always switching ideas and majors, I just had no idea what to do for the rest of my life. Fast forward to last year, I  got accepted into a University and decided to pack up my cat, move to a new state, and leave behind everyone and everything I knew.

Perhaps my first mistake was making a huge life change and not surrounding myself with a support system, but I believe everything happens for a reason, which I will explain a little later. I was excited to start this part of my life, I was excited to meet new people, learn new things, and finally figure out what I wanted to do with my life.

I majored in English for the sole reason that I didn’t know what else I could see myself majoring in. I took an Italian class and fell in love and added it as a minor. This is the part where, mostly, things where fine. I made two friends (hey, it’s a big deal for me), my mom would come visit me, I was enjoying most of my classes, and life was fine.

Eventually, my good pals Anxiety and Depression moved back in and things took a turn. I would go to my classes and then come right back home and go to sleep for 18 hours. I would have awful migraines that prevented me from keeping a job, I felt isolated and alone, and the worst part was that I felt like if I admitted it to anyone that I would be a failure.

This went on for the entire school year. Just before the summer semester started, I looked at my upcoming fall schedule and had a full blown anxiety attack. It wasn’t that I was taking too many courses, I only had about 13 credit hours, it was that I was so completely empty and lost that I didn’t even understand how taking pre 1690 literature would get me anywhere near where I wanted to be in life. Where did I want to be? I still had no idea.

Talking to my family about wanting to drop out of school was embarrassing and I felt so defeated. That summer I moved out of my apartment and back in with my mom. This is where “everything happens for a reason” comes into play. I went to University in a different state than I grew up in and during my first year there my mom moved into the same state, primarily because she had a great job offer, but also for my in-state tuition. It brings me some kind of comfort to think that my going away to college, though it didn’t work out for me, pushed my mom in the right direction for her life.

After dropping out, I felt an immediately relief of anxiety, however it was quickly replaced with more anxiety because I had no safety net, I was in the big girl world with zero idea of what to do.  I had been told my whole life that you finish high school, go to college, get a job, and work. That’s all I’ve ever known and yet, there I was creating my own path. The only way I can relate this feeling is spending my whole life on a boat and suddenly I’m jumping off. The jump gives me freedom and relief briefly, but then I’m in the dark water and I can’t even figure out which way is up.

The reality of dropping out of college for me is that I’m forced to create my own path and not only do I have to face the criticism from myself because of my own choices, but I have to listen to everyone giving their opinion on what I should do. I know most people are trying to help me by telling me what I should do, and pushing me to go back to college. But, here’s the thing, I have to figure out my life on my own. If I feel like I should go back to college then I will, if I feel like a certain career is for me, then I’ll go for it. But, it’s something I have to figure out for myself.

One thing I’ve noticed since dropping out is that when I tell people around my age that I’ve dropped out, I’m hailed as some sort of hero. I get responses like, “Really? I wish I was brave enough to do that!” or, “That’s so cool! What do you think you’ll do next?” But, from older generations I get a lecture or a whole lesson on why my life isn’t going to turn out the way I’m hoping it will. And maybe they’re right, maybe it won’t turn out the way I want it to, maybe it will turn out to be awful, in which case I will strongly advocate for going back to college, or maybe my life will turn out to be one big, great adventure. But, I have to figure it out for myself.

I didn’t make this post to persuade anyone from dropping out of college or not going to college. In fact, if you know for a fact you want to be a doctor or lawyer or teacher, CHASE YOUR DREAMS. If you know that you don’t want to go to college and you want to do something else, CHASE YOUR DREAMS. We are only given one life, I don’t want to waste mine hating myself and where I am. I’m just one girl who is trying to figure out who she is and what she is meant to do.

 

Hello, everyone! I celebrated my 21st birthday in the beginning of April and while it was really exciting, I felt old. When you’re 15 you can get your driver’s permit, at 16 you can get your license, at 18 you can buy lottery tickets, and 21 you can drink, but what happens after? Nothing. You just get old and wrinkly. Can’t wait. So while I was at home drinking some wine LEGALLY, I came up with 21 things I have learned in 21 years. Let me share my wisdom with you, since I now look in the mirror and my reflection is a grandmother. But, a really WISE grandmother.

1. You can’t control everything. This has been a tough one for me to get over since I am a control-freak. But, the universe has its way of working, and there are some things out of your control. So, take a deep breath and trust in the universe.
2. Trust your gut. Don’t listen to your head, don’t listen to your heart, listen to your gut. If you feel like something is off and your gut is telling you to run, RUN.
3. Everyone has a story. Be nice to everyone because you never know what is happening in their life.
4. Smile, you don’t own all of the problems in the world. It’s true.
5. All you can do is try your best.
6. When you get hurt, you have to let yourself love, don’t cut off feelings or pretend like you have none. You’re human, you’re allowed to hurt, and you’re allowed to love again.
7. Always remember self-love. You are just as important as all of the people you’re trying to save.
8. One day of eating bad, or a week of not working out won’t ruin everything you’ve worked towards.
9. Get out of your comfort zone. My comfort zone is my apartment with my cat, but this year I have already pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone and try things I normally wouldn’t and IT WAS ACTUALLY FUN.
10. What you think of yourself is more important than what anyone else thinks of you.
11. You don’t always have to defend yourself.
12. Some people will never change, no matter how hard you want them to.
13. If it won’t matter in five years, don’t spend more than five minutes thinking about it.
14. Replace your bad thought with good ones. It’s so good for self-love, I promise.
15. Some people are only meant to be in one chapter of your life, not the whole book.
16. Mistakes are okay, otherwise you would never know what it is like to fall.
17. Live passionately. If you don’t have a passion and a fire beneath you, what are you living for?
18. Work for your dreams, they won’t happen overnight.
19. “Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage.” This is from We Bought a Zoo, and I have never been able to get it out of my mind.
20. You are never too much, and you are always enough.
21. Take a deep breath and look at the world around you. There is so much that you’re missing by rushing through life.

I hope you guys have enjoyed my list of things I have learned in the past 21 years. Cheers to the next 21!

 

Hello to all of you wonderful people reading my very own blog! It’s a very exciting day for me because I have dreamed of starting my own blog for quite some time now, only I didn’t think anyone would want to hear (or I guess, read) what I wanted to say. But, then I decided to heck with it all! This is 2018, baby, and if I want to write a blog, well then you best believe I’m going to!

My name is Kaylee and I am currently 20 years old (soooo close to being able to legally drink!) I am in college studying English, and let me tell you these past three years HAVE BEEN THE LONGEST THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE. College, man, it’ll get you. I live with my very adorable and snuggly cat, Oscar, whom I adopted a few years ago from a no-kill animal shelter. Yay for rescue animals! Let’s just all take a moment to appreciate his crinkle ears.

Oscar is part of the reason I went vegetarian and cruelty free. Why would I treat other animals as food and test subjects while I treat my cat like the little king that he is?

I hope by now you’re catching on to the fact that this blog is going to be about my life and everything the world throws my way. I was never able to find a blog that had everything I wanted all bundled up like a little Christmas present, so I made my own. I’m not sure how this blog is going to end up, but it’s going to be about life, being vegetarian, going vegan, surviving college, living on your own for the first time, writing, photography, and anything else I feel compelled to share with the world. I hope you’ll stick around for the ride ’cause it’s going to be a good one! 🙂